Irrational Fears

Sometimes, when laying in bed at night trying to fall asleep, the strangest thoughts pop into my head. Different scenarios that either terrify me or are just plain weird. They usually lead to me taking even longer to fall asleep because it works me up into a full blown panic and shakes my anxiety up until it feels like I could pop.

Some of these thoughts or ideas are things that could never happen. Things that are so completely irrational that any person without an anxiety disorder would completely disregard and go on with their life, laughing it off along the way.

But some of them are things that logistically c o u l d happen, but are highly unlikely.

Like what if one day I was walking over a bridge and one of my kids wanted to see the train or whatever was underneath it. So I lift them up so they can see over the ledge and then they wiggle out of my arms and start falling. This dream has plagued me ever since I had my first child. In no way would I ever consider lifting them up so that they were far enough over the railing that this would happen, but it's still somewhere in my head making me crazy. This is my most frequent nightmare, I always wake up as they are falling.

Or, what if one day we are swimming in a lake and they're grabbed by a fish or octopus and pulled under. What if a fish tries to bite my toes? I know this one is a completely irrational thought, because last I checked there are no octopuses in lakes, or fish big enough to pull a person under water. Still, there is this thought lingering in the back of my mind.

My thoughts/nightmares go from one extreme to the next. From completely ridiculous to something that could happen in real life but is a one in a trillion chance.

How do I stop these thoughts and get some sleep? How do I camn my anxiety down at night to prevent myself from getting worked up and being unable to sleep. The insomnia is wearing on my physical and mental well being.

-A.